Are you there God? Its me Michele - February 17th 2016

                                              

                                      
                                                              Thought for the day 
                                                 Joy is a positive thing;
                              in joy one does not only feel
                              secure, but something goes
                                  out from oneself to the
                                universe, a warm, positive
                                        effluence of love.
                                                Richard Hooke
   When I was a young girl I was not much of a reader(still not so much) but all the girls were talking about this great book "Are you there God it's me Margaret"  I loved it, first book I read from cover to cover, it was about a young girl, 11 coming into her preteens and trying to find religion. through out the book she is talking to God about all these changes. 
   Well here I am 53 years old crying out, Are you even there God its me Michele, I found the Lord early in life at the foot of my mommies bed at 6 years old, have loved the Lord and have had the gift of faith ever since. But I tell you what- over the past 2 years, my faith has been shattered in every way possiable and my Joy has been robbed. Everything I believed to be true no longer seems to be the case. God why don't you heal my beautiful Daughter? It's been over 5 years and she is in yet another hospital for her mental illness. how much longer God how much longer much she suffer? 
   My daughter called today, these are her questions?- Mom am I in hell? Is the whole world in on this conspiracy? even the commercials on TV seem to be taunting and plotting against me, she goes on to say that she's scared of everything and of everybody. In her mind the whole world except her oldest brother is in on the conspiracy against her. She also continues to think that every minute of every day that she is dying of a heart attack and brain damage. Are you there God its me Michele, Please heal my daughters mind. I hurt for her, please let it be me instead of her, she says she's just an empty shell. I don't understand your ways, I tell myself that your working behind the scenes but I don't really believe it anymore. I am mad at you God, please help me to be wiling to believe again! I miss my Joy ,I miss my daughter, I miss the woman I use to be Please help me please help Tiff.
   The only way I know to help her is to press forward with the task of turning my barn into a safe haven for hurting and wounded people especially in the area of mental illness, there are so many people hurting God. Some days I don't even believe that this barn thing is real, is this really why you sent me to North Dakota?
Help me to be willing to be willing to be willing to trust and not doubt. I give my Daughter to you and My life I lay these things at the foot of the cross as I'm making my self sick! I beg again God, do something.
Isaiah 12:2 I will trust and not be afraid!
Me

Brokenhearted - Feburary 15th 2016

                            

                                      Psalm 34:18

                                                    The Lord is close to the

                                                 brokenhearted

                                       and saves those who are crushed in

                                                spirit.

  

                      

           

                                              

                                                            

                                                          

                                    

                                               

             

Beautiful Winter night

"Hope" February 12, 2016

                              Thought for the day  

                                        Every life has its dark and
                           cheerful hours. Happiness
                         comes from choosing which
                                    to remember.

Well, I'm not sure what to blog about today, when I went to put something in the title  I clunked my head down on the computer and said " Lord I can't do this today you'll have to write it for me!" suddenly the word "Hope" popped into my mind, ok God?
Dictionary
Hope= A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
Biblical= (Heb 6:18; Num 23;19)
Instead of wishing or hoping
 for something to happen, a
  believer knows that their
    hope is solid, concrete
     evidence because it is
grounded in the Word of God
     and we know that God cannot lie.
So to me that means my hope is in God not myself! Well HALLELUJAH and Praise the Lord as I know I can't do this Brown Barn Beacon myself, but God Can! What a big relief.

Please please be in prayer for this task. That He would send the right person to help with.....
 1) Application for the 501c3 (to become a non profit)
 2) Helping hands this spring to go through the pile of the barn wood where the barn use to stand.
 3)That the Lord would go before as I send out the " Go Fund Me" fundraiser.
4) That the gentleman that I feel the Lord has put on my heart to do the developing (architect) will be open to it, considering I have never even met him! giggle I guess that's blind faith.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement in this journey and all the hands on people that have help up to this point!  Again this is not my Barn Project its a task that God is doing and using me as a small tiny tool.
Be Blessed
Michele

Dream December 10th 2015

                                                    Meet Peekaboo our pet Peacock

Thought for the day:
          There is
            nothing
       like a dream
           to create
          the future.
Sitting here, sun shining on my face, chomping on a Honey Crisp apple, oh sooo sweet, gazing out my window, admiring the beauty.
As I see Peekaboo, am amazed at how beautifully God made his coat, my I say" coat of many colors" I'm reminded of the Story in the Bible of Joseph and his Father Jacob, of all his children Jacob loved Joseph the best. Jacob gave Joseph a coat of many Bright colors, this was a special mark of Jacob's favor of Joseph, and it made his older brothers very envious of him. You just must go to Genesis 37 and read it for yourself. What seems like a horrific situation for Joseph God turns around for good and his glory. But it took much time and many trials to get to the Great end result.
 On this Journey, the DREAM of the "Brown Barn Beacon "  and just life itself we have been through many a trials and set backs especially in watching my daughter over the past 5 years, battle her mental break and feeling helpless as nothing seems to keep her stable for very long, I must admit that my Faith grows weary( I can only imagine what she must be feeling UG) almost gone, Lord why don't you do something, FIX HER! my faith holding on only by a thread I mean the tiniest of threads, to believe that on the other side of this she will do great things for His glory as He promise me 5 years ago. I will trust and believe like Joseph did, that the end result for my daughter will be GREAT. The horrificness ( is that even a word Giggle) that she and those that love her are going through is the driving factor for the passion to turn my barn into the safe haven God intended it to be, as she has been treated more like a prisoner than a person as mental illness is so misunderstood, I my self cant even understand.
But I know that I know this will be a great place of healing for all that come.
 Like Peekaboo my peacock, this fall,he lost all, yes all of his beautiful feathers during molting time, he probably thought oh no, my beauty is gone, but he just needed time and faith in his Creator! As you see he is even more beautiful and fuller feathers than before!
 So lets just trust and be still and know God is God. Like Joseph and Peekaboo and in his timing we will be another of his greatest Beautiful stories ever told!
Did any of that make sense??? who knows, but in my brain it did! giggle
Have a Beautiful day
Michele

Feeling Grateful for this land I get to call home! December 9th 2015

 Thought fore day:}
     Be yourself.
       Who else is
   better qualified?  Amen to that!

Again, as I sit here, sipping hot up of steaming coffee, I can hardly believe I'm in  a North Dakota winter, sun shining on my face, 45 degrees, no wind:} Animals playing outside. Is this Heaven? giggle
 Looking at this picture brings mixed emotions. Great Joy- But then who wouldn't, look at the beauty! The sadness comes as the beautiful barn no longer stands:( Soo this is the task at hand, to raise that barn back up and restore the BEAUTY of it to become the safe Haven God intends it to be. You may see a barn but I  see every detail pictured, down to the grains in the old barn wood to the smell of bread and chocolate chip cookies being bake for those who come for a small retreat from life's busy craziness,  showing them Gods Love and Grace through excellence.
Am I Qualified for this task? I hardly think so!!! BUT GOD IS!!
 So please be praying along with me that God would send all the laborers to complete this task, this is about Him not me!!!  I'm just one of the many tools  He is using to get the job done! Lord through this Blog, Prayers and your Greatness my You send.....
      Architect, Diggers, builders, equipment, materials , plumbers, elections, decorators, Funds needed, JOY PEACE  LOVE FAITH and ABUNDENCE in all the above!
   I TRUST YOU, PLEASE HEAL MY DUGHER IN THIS OBIEDIENCE..

I LOVE YOU ALL
Be Blessed    

SOOOO Excited December 8th 9:45pm

   Just back from meeting with the college gang,  Shane, Trevor and Nate., they got the "Go Fund me" account done woo hooo they did such a great job. We were  all sitting there  talking and Nate says "Ok I put it out on your Facebook" What? Yep I guess we went live with it about 9:00pm tonight!!! YIKES and YA HOO all in one breath. I have so many feelings going on inside me, I'm alittle nervous, not really sure why? but so EXCITED and Grateful!!!

I have this little saying at the window above the kitchen sink

She Believed she could
          sooooooo
                  she did!
All things are possible through Christ Jesus!

Be Blesed
Michele