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Fun at the Brown Barn Beacon

Reflecting Back

As I'm sitting here on my small rustic deck, the warm sun shining on my face, cool breeze dancing through my hair, chickens, kitties, and peacock playing in the yard, I am brought back to 10 years ago.

My life flipped upside down, as I was told to get up and pack all my belongings from the hustle and bustle of Minneapolis, Minnesota and start a new lift in rural North Dakota.

“Lord, you want me to move where and do what?!”

After much thought and prayer, I found myself enrolling my daughter and son (freshman and junior) in a much smaller high school, and moving them into a dear friend’s house with her family so they could start school on time.

Fortunately, my oldest Son (24yrs old) wanted to buy my house! Crazy how things fall into place with faith in God! I continued the new adventure through Faith and Love. We bought a 14 acre hobby farm in less than 60 days. There was no heat or duct work, just a pot belly stove to burn wood and coal, no job and not much money left! Because God said “GO!”

There I was in Buchanan, North Dakota, with a population of 73! "I have sent you there to be a Beacon of light and to show people God’s Love and Grace!” God said.

The task that God has set before me was to turn my barn (which was torn down) into a Safe Haven. Not for rich's or gain, but for His Glory, showing people God’s Love and Grace through EXCELLENCE. It will be a small retreat for His hurting and wounded people.

I was concerned about money but He said, “All the details will be taken care of and this is not about you. I'm just using you as a tool to get this task of mine done. This is for my Glory and Purpose!"


Thus started the long endeavor of "The Brown Barn Beacon."

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Are you there God? Its me Michele - February 17th 2016

                                              
                                      
                                                              Thought for the day 
                                                 Joy is a positive thing;
                              in joy one does not only feel
                              secure, but something goes
                                  out from oneself to the
                                universe, a warm, positive
                                        effluence of love.
                                                Richard Hooke
   When I was a young girl I was not much of a reader(still not so much) but all the girls were talking about this great book "Are you there God it's me Margaret"  I loved it, first book I read from cover to cover, it was about a young girl, 11 coming into her preteens and trying to find religion. through out the book she is talking to God about all these changes. 
   Well here I am 53 years old crying out, Are you even there God its me Michele, I found the Lord early in life at the foot of my mommies bed at 6 years old, have loved the Lord and have had the gift of faith ever since. But I tell you what- over the past 2 years, my faith has been shattered in every way possiable and my Joy has been robbed. Everything I believed to be true no longer seems to be the case. God why don't you heal my beautiful Daughter? It's been over 5 years and she is in yet another hospital for her mental illness. how much longer God how much longer much she suffer? 
   My daughter called today, these are her questions?- Mom am I in hell? Is the whole world in on this conspiracy? even the commercials on TV seem to be taunting and plotting against me, she goes on to say that she's scared of everything and of everybody. In her mind the whole world except her oldest brother is in on the conspiracy against her. She also continues to think that every minute of every day that she is dying of a heart attack and brain damage. Are you there God its me Michele, Please heal my daughters mind. I hurt for her, please let it be me instead of her, she says she's just an empty shell. I don't understand your ways, I tell myself that your working behind the scenes but I don't really believe it anymore. I am mad at you God, please help me to be wiling to believe again! I miss my Joy ,I miss my daughter, I miss the woman I use to be Please help me please help Tiff.
   The only way I know to help her is to press forward with the task of turning my barn into a safe haven for hurting and wounded people especially in the area of mental illness, there are so many people hurting God. Some days I don't even believe that this barn thing is real, is this really why you sent me to North Dakota?
Help me to be willing to be willing to be willing to trust and not doubt. I give my Daughter to you and My life I lay these things at the foot of the cross as I'm making my self sick! I beg again God, do something.
Isaiah 12:2 I will trust and not be afraid!
Me
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